Edited ideas

1. Student Union questionaires
2. Parking
3. Coins

Commentary Assignment

Brainstorming Ideas:

1. Roomate's --
I asked the UCF housing department if I could request a new roommate because one of mine was moving out. They said my roommate didnt cancel yet so no. I then asked them if they could look out for Loren, the girl I wanted to move in they said when your roommate cancels call us. So when my roommate cancelled, I called them. Unfortunately, it was past the date to get ANY new roommates. One day, I looked at my room schedule and sure enough I had new roommate's even though they told me there would be no changes.

2. Tower's Parking --
The parking permits to park in the tower's where I live costs $500. So, I purchased a green pass instead. Parking at UCF wouldnt be so bad if they made parking accessible for people who pay so much to live in dorms already.

3. Parking Tolls--
Students shouldnt have to pay coins to park on campus.

The Soul Stealing Statue (FINAL Memoir)

It was a normal sunny day, my sister Christina, my neighbor Kelsey and I had been roaming the neighborhood backyards in search of adventure when we all suddenly came to a stop when we saw the most beautiful statue. The statue looked like a goddess, standing tall and white as snow. My sister, who always seemed to have a strong personality, like no one could ever hurt her or scare her, said “WOW!” almost as if she was scared. Simultaneously, Kelsey and I said “What is that?” when we saw the gigantic but gentle woman created in the statue. The statue looked so powerful and almost out of place in the small backyard of our not so fancy neighborhood; a statue like this looked like it should have been in front of a mansion or the white house! The statue was facing a window on the left side of a small brown house, surrounded by huge palm tress and green grass. The statue must have been five feet tall, over powering my little body with all of her goddess like features. She was dressed in what looked like drapes and her hair was up in braids. Christina looked at Kelsey and me and said “If we stay here any longer the statue will steal our souls.” Kelsey and Christina were always playing tricks on me so I wasn’t going to fall for their trick this time. The two of them ran home (leaving me behind, like usual) through all of the big palm tress and wood fences, I ran as fast I could trying to catch up to the older girls who always called me a “third wheel”. I finally see what they meant because I was always yelling “Wait up, guys!” The rest of the day was spent by the lake feeding the new born yellow ducklings and riding bikes through the park next to the lake. The day ended with my sister and me lying in bed laughing at how scared we all looked running home after seeing the statue. I was just happy we wouldn’t be going back there again, or so that’s what I thought as I laid my head on my pillow that night.

The next day, Kelsey, whose face was pale but always had light brown freckles, showed up at our mediocre house and greeted us with a black mole right by her lip (which was unusual because Kelsey didn’t have black moles), looking back now, it reminds me of Marilyn Monroe’s mole right by her lip. “What happened to your face?” My sister and I asked, “The statue was at my window last night and gave me this mole!” Kelsey said, sounding very scared. “Let’s go back to the statue and see if it’s still there.” My sister said sounding so brave like she normally did. I did NOT want to go back; I was still hesitant about the statue and was tired of my sister and Kelsey trying to scare me. Kelsey was all for going back as she explained when she said “Yeah! I want to show that statue not to mess with me!” “Wait! We should NOT go back!” I said “YES! We should! Stop being such a baby, Katie!” Christina said. They were always pushing me around. I didn’t even get a chance to reply because against my will, they dragged me to the statue and kept saying “Come on Katie, don’t be afraid! You’ll only get a mole or your soul stolen!” After what seemed like 10 seconds, we were finally approaching the white statue in the small backyard. My thoughts about how afraid I was were interrupted by Kelsey when she said, “Look she moved! Before, she was facing the left side a little more.” Of course, I believed her (even though the statue had not moved at all) because I was so afraid already. The next thing I remember was that I was running home as fast as I could so I could tell my dad what had happened. Kelsey and Christina chased me yelling “Come back!” and “Where are you going?” They knew I was going to cry to my dad and they did not want to get in trouble for their mean antics. As soon as my dad heard the trick Kelsey and Christina played on me, he made them fess up to their trick. As it turns out, Kelsey had put eyeliner on her face in the shape of a mole to scare me; of course my sister went along with it. Their plan to scare me worked, like it always did. Looking back, I do not know how I could have believed them, statues are not possessed by evil spirits and statues do not give little girls moles. I was just a little sister wanting to play with the older girls and would do anything to fit in with them. However, things are a lot different now that it’s 13 years later.

Ever since then, I always know when I am being tricked by my sister and Kelsey and I never let them forget how they tortured a little five year old. My sister and I no longer bicker and fight; instead we are best friends, we don’t tell on each other anymore or try to scare each other. Instead, we look out for each other and now that we are older, can have a lot of fun together. Kelsey unfortunately, moved but we still keep on touch with her. I will never forget those days spent with my older sister and my best friend, Kelsey.

MEMO

To: Ms. Moody

From: Katherine Dee

Date: September 15, 2009

RE: After getting the feedback from my peers, I will make revisions to my final draft. I will do this by personifying the statue in all cases and not switch between “her” and “the statue”. I will also add detail to the beginning of the introduction. The detail I will add will consist of an explanation of why I was looking at the statue and how I got there. I greatly appreciate the feedback because I now know I should add more detail and complete a thesis.
After the revision, I will add the suggestions to my draft and start revising my final memoir draft. To my final draft, I will add extra details to fully describe my experience so that my audience feels like they were there with me. My memoir will be clear and the audience will have no questions at the end of my story.
All in all, I will have extremely vivid images of my experience with the soul stealing statue and I will personify the statue to incorporate my audience in my story. I am hoping my story will make the audience laugh and feel connected to me through my experience.

Memoir Draft

It was a normal day, my sister, Christina, and my neighbor Kelsey and I had been roaming the neighborhood back yards in search of adventure when all of a sudden, we all came to a stop when we saw the statue. The statue looked like a goddess, standing tall and white as snow. The statue looked so powerful and almost out of place in the small backyard of our not so fancy neighborhood. The statue was facing a window on the left side of the brown house, surrounded by huge palm tress and green grass. The statue must have been five feet tall, over powering my little body with all of her goddess like features. She was dressed in what looked like drapes and her hair was up in braids. My sister was convinced that if we stood there any longer the Greek goddess would steal our soul, Kelsey agreed.

Christina and Kelsey were always playing tricks on me so I wasn’t going to fall or their trick this time. As they ran home through all of the big palm tress and wood fences, my little legs ran as fast as they could trying to catch up to the older girls. The rest of the day was spent by the lake feeding the ducklings and riding bikes through the park.

The next day, Kelsey, whose face was pale but always had light brown freckles, showed up at our house with a black mole right by her lip, looking back now, it reminds me of Marilyn Monroe. When my sister and I asked what happened, she replied with “The statue was at my window last night and gave me this mole”. My sister suggested we go back to the statue and see if she was still there. As we approached the white statue, we saw she had not been moved at all. Since I was so little, I ran home scared to tell my dad what had happened and my sister and Kelsey followed me trying to convince me not to tell. As soon as my dad heard the trick Kelsey and Christina played on me, he made them fess up to their mean antics. As it turns out, Kelsey had put eyeliner on her face to make a mole and to try to scare me.

Ever since then, I always know when I am being tricked by my sister and Kelsey and never let them forget how the tortured a little five year old.

Memoir Intro

We all came to a stop when we saw the statue. The statue looked like a goddess, standing tall and white as snow. The statue looked so powerful and almost out of place in the small backyard of our not so fancy neighborhood. The statue was facing a window on the left side of the brown house, surrounded by huge palm tress and green grass. The statue must have been five feet tall, over powering my little body with all of her goddess like features. She was dressed in what looked like drapes and her hair was up in braids. My sister was convinced that if we stood there any longer the Greek goddess would steal our soul, Kelsey agreed.

Brainstorming Ideas

BRAINSTORMING:
I illustrated a picture of the statue and told everything I remembered about her.
I also drew a picture of her surroundings to get a feel of how out of place she was.
I went back to that day in my head and thought of everything that happened.

Memoir Ideas- ENC 1101

My first Idea for my blog is about my sister playing tricks on me. When I was little my sister made me believe a statue could come to life and haunt me. Of course, I didn't belive her until I saw a pale face at my window that night. The next morning My neighbor, Kelsey, claimed she saw the same thing. My sister then told me the statue was going to steal my soul, so being five years old I started crying. My dad made my sister and Kelsey admit that Kelsey was at my window that night and they were trying to scare me. I have never fell for their tricks again and I have never been so afraid since.

The next idea I wanted to blog about was how I broken my arm. I was dared to go down a pool ladder backwards and slipped and fell and broke my arm. After this incident, I learned to do things if I believe I can do them and not do things just because I was dared to.

My final idea was to write about how my friends and I would throw toilet paper at cars. We would sit in my friends backyard that was facing a road. When we heard a car coming we would hide in the bushes and throw full toilet paper rolls at the passing cars... Until, we got caught by the police. We all tried to run away but had no way to go. The police lectured us but we didnt get in too much trouble. The thrill of potentially getting in trouble was always a rush, like when you’re on a roller coaster. I haven’t felt adrenaline that that since then.